‘No-one could remember such a crazy game. Or explain that last 10 minutes. No matter.’

The Wallabies recorded the craziest win in living memory… feels like something to say after that absolutely insane 42-38 win South Africa in Perth on Sunday.

But then I had to check if I had said the same thing after the Wallabies’ memorable 38-22 win at Ellis Park last August. I didn’t, as it turns out, but Sunday still might just have been the craziest win in… well, a year.

What made this particular result so crazy was the expectations leading up to the game. yes, Australia showed a huge opportunity to overcome South Africa. That alone hasn’t happened on home soil since 2022, and in Perth since 2014 (23-23 draw in 2017).

But they still had to make the most of this opportunity. Despite never trailing at half-time in their eight Tests so far this year, the Wallabies still left themselves open to being chased on several occasions. Ireland and France were good enough to win; Japan and Argentina they weren’t quite.

So any nerves Australian rugby fans felt last week were fully justified, and they were never too far away when the game got underway.

24^th minute: Australia equalize through Len Ikitau

Despite Joseph-Aukuso Suaalii winning the kick-off contest, he was tackled by Springboks ball-stealer Paul de Villiers only to be immediately penalized for a turnover in response.

Ben Donaldson was stopped well behind the gain line as the Wallabies looked to be playing by the line a short time later, and after making a desperate tackle to Max Jorgensen, he too was bowled by de Villiers. Handre Pollard converted this penalty for the game’s first points in the fourth minute, and Wallabies fans may have already found a new nail to chew on.

With another turnover penalty in front of the Wallabies posts, the Springboks set their line for a patient drive that required a slight change of direction and a definite second push to get rolling, but once it got going, Johan Grobbelaar always had a shot.

But there were also signs. Donaldson bowled a brilliant ball past Fraser McCright and Harry Wilson down the left wing. Their defensive adjustments to the width rushed the pass to Ethan Hooker on the left edge of the ‘Box, and they also began to win loose balls; first McReight robbed just as South Africa were finishing their transition attack, then Brandon Paenga-Amosa did the same after Jorgensen narrowly missed out on an aerial contest.

When the Springboks got off their feet in their own 22, the Wallabies’ five-metre formation set up their pick-and-drive platform. This has become a real strength over the last 12 months, and as they approached midfield, Len Ikitau was looking for just one thing as he loomed on the outside of Lukhan Salakai-Lotto’s hip.

This was a really promising start for the Aussies.

27^th minute: Ikitau goes bang-bang to extend Australia’s lead

South Africa were pinged for being in front of the forwards on the restart and this seemed like one of those things that should have been pulled more often than it was. And they were far ahead; Hooker was two or three meters into the Australian half on the left wing when Pollard kicked him.

But that meant the Wallabies were forced into a scrum contest. Is this Rassie Erasmus 4D Chess again? Will Springbok’s delay be rewarded? Luckily no, but that was another nail.

This was really good. This is a selection decision that guided the decision making in the game, backed up by a great awareness of the game.

The Wallabies were playing down the right short side, Lonergan was directing things well, and with a penalty advantage, launched a high bomb for Suaali, who interestingly slotted one-in from the wing, with Hunter Paisami on the edge. Ikitau was looming once and for all, a racing language.

Suaalii got up well, but Springbok fullback Aphelela Fassi actually dominated the air space wonderfully, twisting in a way that dislodged Suaalii but also forced him to catch the ball almost behind him, instead of shooting off his shoulder into the hands of a waiting Ikitau, who raced away for a few minutes.

This was really good. This is a selection decision that guided the decision making in the game, backed up by a great awareness of the game.

40^th minute: Donaldson stays wide to wrap things up

Unfortunately, Ikitau’s miss on Canan Moodie created an opportunity for Edwill van der Merwe to hit back at the ‘Boks, and that really handy seven point lead evaporated within seconds.

But it was also a handy reminder that South Africa really don’t want to repeat the embarrassment of Ellis Park and let the Wallabies get away for the second time in 12 months. They said they wouldn’t do it for a week, remember?

Australia’s defense generally held up pretty well. Even after the try, whenever the South Africans wanted to go direct, they were stopped regularly and often, and really didn’t make the same surge line that we’ve seen throughout the Greatest Rivalry series.

Ikitau made a line break like no one remembers, and was it a Paisami double pump? Either way, the Wallabies delivered steady scrum ball and again found space through the Springboks’ midfield.

Wright produced a neat little rough kick for Jorgensen to convert on the edge and then after playing right-right-right, a couple of short passes through the middle saw Suaalii put Donaldson out for a corner. The Wallabies led another game at half-time.

Penalties are cool again; The Wallabies continue to build

Many Australian rugby fans have had a laugh these days with former Wallabies captain Michael Hooper applauding their decision to let Stan Sport score two more penalty goals after half-time as the Wallabies opened up a 30-17 lead to feed the early throes of an excited prospect.

This should happen more than it does; Lonergan’s three penalties in Perth still take him to just six tries this year, still not one per Test. But when you have 88% goalies now, why wouldn’t you?

The Springboks emptied their bench and it proved to be a risky move not to leave injury cover in the final 30 minutes.

Harry Wilson was denied a try in the corner but crossed the ball to score in the next minute to extend the lead to 20 with Lonergan’s conversion. Jorgensen then pounced on a loose ball from an otherwise fine Springboks line and ran 60 metres. Lonergan widened the conversion but it hardly mattered.

Will the Wallabies really win this one? Will they beat the Boks again? Was 25 points enough? Could it be more? All the nails are gone, we’ve moved on to the knuckles. The bomb squad hasn’t scored yet, but they sure will. Australia just needed to close out the last 15 minutes.

Last 10 minutes: strap yourself in

Eben Etzebeth said he could not come down. Is sending a totem lock back onto the field when she may be injured, but now definitely angry, a good idea?

Suaalii was questioned for an awkward but still high move and the Springboks took the scrum option. Thank you. A replay of the Malcolm Marx match showed that Wilson could really lift him. Ref-to-TMO communications were interrupted all night, and it took some time for the TMO carrier pigeon to descend to ground level with a check-check message.

Wilson got Marx high. The Wallabies had to finish with 14 men (or so we thought) and the Springboks again took the scrum option. Substitute scrum-half Morne van den Berg was held to a penalty advantage but actually nailed it. This scrum looked ominous.

The Springboks again took the scrum option. It was a line try, and Lonergan curiously pounced on the ball. Instead of conceding just five points, it was now a penalty, an automatic seven points, and Lonergan joined his captain on the naughty chair.

The Boks tried to play in their own half and Tom Wright made another interception against the Springboks. It’s Ellis Park again. Ali holds the phone. Literally. The TMO was on the line.

But it’s okay. The Wallabies could still regroup, collapse and just close this one, right?

No. Sacha Feinberg-Mngomezulu and Moodie separated from the restart, leaving the Wallabies to defend their line again. Someone was offside and the Boks shot past van der Merwe to score with a two-man lead. Except he dropped it.

But Suaalii was the man adjudged to be offside, after a line break, so he too was booked. The Wallabies had five bookings in seven Tests. Suddenly it was three in three minutes. Now it was 15 to 12 and it was getting ridiculous.

The Springboks again took the scrum option. Hooper suggested the Wallabies needed to legitimately fail to eat up more time. Van den Berg had a second try and the lead was back to 11. Oh, and the scoreboard had to be adjusted too.

The Boks tried to play in their own half and Tom Wright made another interception against the Springboks. It’s Ellis Park again. Ali holds the phone. Literally. The TMO was on the line.

But Paisami caught Feinberg-Mngomezulu high. Another yellow card. Four now. In seven minutes. The Wallabies had to finish with 11 men and social media is full of people saying they’ve never seen 15 on 11. Of course they haven’t! (*although it has happened a few times before in test rugby)

Ox Nche scored and there was still time for the restart. Sunday night was approaching Monday morning. Mercifully, the game lasted long enough for Wilson and Lonergan to go back to sin.

But Quan Horn ran in front of his captain – the easiest obstruction call ever. Andre Piardi ruined the time.

No one could think of such a crazy game. Except for the one 12 months ago, which now feels neglected.

The Wallabies beat South Africa again. Les Kiss remains undefeated as head coach.

And no one can explain it for the last 10 minutes. It may never be explained. It won’t matter.