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NFL

The Jets never got off the ground


In the year In 2025, the New York Jets put together an unforgettable season worthy of eternal remembrance. When balls are passed in the air – a very common occurrence in the sport of football – this group of professional football players suddenly have all their skills stolen by the Monsters.

That’s the most logical explanation for how an NFL team plays an entire (17-game!) season, with not one player on offense producing 395 yards receiving, or one player on defense intercepting one of 515 balls.

Here we explore the deep, dark world that is the Jets of 2025 and just how extreme and unimaginable levels of unreality it is. Like Marge before the Halloween special, let me warn you that this is going to be very, very scary and those of you with small children may want to put them to bed to avoid getting jet-sets. You have been duly warned.



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