Professional wrestler and Hollywood therapist John Cena, once lauded for his tireless work granting wishes to sick children, now travels the world terrorizing those same children for the Break-A-Wish Foundation.
Cena visited a local medical facility in Tallahassee yesterday where he taunted and teased nine-year-old Timmy McCutcheon, who suffers from various solar plexus, breadbasket and kissing ailments.
“I’ve spent my career being nice to your kids, no more.” yelled a blushing Cena, veins bulging on his forehead and bald spot. “From now on, the only wishes I grant are my own.”
After being released from the hospital, Cena visited a nearby playground, where he stole a child’s lunch money and then molested another child who was eating candy.
Cena’s new bully attitude has somewhat ironically generated huge sales his new product, which carries the slogan “Give Up Sometimes”.
