The first NFL games are in the books, and believe me, you’re surprised Mike Tomlin was smiling that much at the event. You’ve probably even counted how many times Luke Kuechly acts in “Bam.” As part of his new schtick as a national broadcaster. Or, fear that at any minute, Pat McPhee might invade your screen as part of someone’s takeover of a football broadcast.
Only in the NFL can the packaged talent in the booth command more attention than the performances on the field. And, in some cases, just a lot of money. That’s why their game – without offending our ability to analyze randomness and violence – has become as important to the American audience as the game itself.
Wild, right? Because if any sport could get away with pairing the top guy at Pop Warner with nothing more than a screeching exhaust note on a small battery, it would be the NFL. The numbers show that America is watching anyway. Last season, the league averaged 18.7 million viewers for regular-season games, the second-highest number since 1988. Shoot, put me in a booth blowing leaves, and I’ll bet we’ll still scan five million.
So NBC’s “Sunday Night Football” really needs it Tomlin to improve the coveragethe former Pittsburgh Steelers coach known for sprinkling “Tomlinism” throughout his press conferences? Not at all, but that didn’t stop the network from offering Tomlin a back-loaded contract worth eight figures, supposedly designed to keep him on the air for years.
Although networks should understand that viewers can hit the mute button and watch in silence, these broadcasters’ contracts are getting dumber and dumber. One day, defensive end Max Crosby, the Las Vegas Raiders’ highest-paid player on a yearly basis, can say he’s made it once Tom Brady starts attracting money. As Fox’s lead analyst alone, Brady, the Raiders’ minority owner, earns $37.5 million a year, compared to Crosby’s $35.5 million.
The 49ers dominate the rival Rams Down Under.
McAfee, who has more time on ESPN than the actual letters E, S, P and N, is said to be in talks with the network to increase his pay to north of $60 million a year. This fall, McAfee will add “Monday Night Countdown” to its growing list of side hustles. Great, anything to keep it from falling Another album.
Also, Joe Buck, who calls games at ESPN for $15 million, will be in line for a big raise when his contract expires this year. Considering how networks continue to print money, expect Book to set a new standard for every silky-voiced baritone out there. Just make sure they call NFL games, because few modern-day broadcasters carry this kind of cultural weight from other leagues.
Over the years, the NBA’s most famous commentators have lost touch and nostalgia (correct pronunciation of outfield players’ names, not included). And yet some traditionalists who talk about MLB are so protective of their game that they might argue for a bench-clearing brawl if anyone dares to break the unwritten rules. For their audience, however, the rich in preparation for NFL games provide a rare glimpse of entertainment and knowledge.
They are teachers. As much as they can, they hold viewers’ hands as they share a behind-the-scenes look at Brady sharing the secrets to throwing the ball in windy games last season. Or, they could split the audience into a love-hate crowd because Chris Collinsworth ended his obsession with Patrick Mahomes, but still held our attention. These calls, made by people with no consequence to the actual game, trend on Twitter as much as the highlights on the field.
Los Angeles Rams travel plans to Australia gone awry?
Robert Mays and Derek Klassen
On Wednesday night, when the defending Super Bowl champion Seattle Seahawks hosted the New England Patriots, Tomlin made headlines for being cute enough in his TV debut. Again, Coach looks 10 years younger and happier (!), which made for good television. He also offered a fair amount of candor, admitting how he doesn’t like the San Francisco 49ers’ travel plans ahead of their game in Melbourne.
That match played out on Netflix Thursday night, introducing newly minted Hall of Famer Luke Kuechlin to the world.
For those viewers with trained and patient ears, or those trained to root for anyone of color other than Romo, Kuechly passes the test. He used his extensive knowledge during the replays. He stood up only once saying “Puka Nakuoi”. He showed glimpses of chemistry with his booth partner Noah Eagle — though every time Netflix went for two strikes, the still-dark linebacker swallowed the frame and gave the younger Eagle a wedgie, seemingly putting him in the locker room. It also, and this is a very important part of any broadcaster, has not gone viral.
After Kuechly made the Eagles, he sometimes didn’t speak at all. After the Eagles called the first touchdown of the game, there was 27 seconds of silence, 27 seconds in which Kuechly could have said something, anything, to analyze Kieran Williams’ rushing touchdown. Instead, the Rams linebacker yelled, “Let’s go!” We heard him say. From the end zone and the Melbourne Cricket Ground speakers played “The Next Room” by Dr. Dre in honor of LA, at least Kuechly didn’t kick the call, like Tony Romo. They made a bad name in Super Bowl LVIII.
Since football is here again, we can theorize whether or not Romo will win his $18 million-a-year job at CBS. Or, we wonder when Al Michael mocks the president’s prime ministerial executive order and tells the audience. “Read the news.” Because he’s 81 years old, makes $15 million a year and just doesn’t care anymore. But we do care, simply because all the little things in the NFL make us completely enthralled, whether a Leafs fan or a Hall of Fame linebacker tells us about a third-and-short run defense.