This article is part of us. The game series Life on the other sideIt looks at what former athletes have learned about success, fulfillment and attitude in retirement.
At 24, I gave up the NFL because of a brain injury. It was the hardest and hardest decision of my life. And there was no way to know what was coming next.
My retirement in 2015 became a lightning rod in the football debate. Within days, I went from being a linebacker for the San Francisco 49ers to being the “face of the nation.”
Public reaction was polarized. I was dismissed as a coward and hailed as a hero. Some pundits saw my decision as a tipping point for the sport. N.L.L. He dismissed it as an anomaly.
I didn’t know what to think.
Suddenly, I was the poster child for CTE. At the same time, I was young and I wanted to know what to do next. I struggled with that dilemma for years.
More time has passed since I left football than I spent playing the game. That realization got me thinking.
What lessons have I learned from football? What are the habits I’ve struggled to shake since I left them behind? And what do the answers to these questions reveal about adapting to change and starting over?
raise
When I played for the 49ers, Jim Harbaugh liked to say, “I want to play football, coach football, and then die.” He is a lively and proud man.
I loved playing for him.
I remember Harbaugh sitting next to me at lunch once. We bowed our heads in greeting and began to eat. After a moment, he broke in seriously and asked, “Did you ever hear anyone say it’s less than that?” he asked.
I had no idea where this was going. “Yes, I heard—”
“Huh!? No, no!” he shouted. “It’s more!!”
His behavior was the same as when he was calling on the sidelines. He was absolutely incredible. In his mind, only wimps would fall for that tongue.
I tend to agree with Harbaugh when it comes to football. I was a “Maxmesser”. By NFL standards, I was small and athletic. I had to grind to excel. But that’s what I always do.
When I started high school, I set a goal every year in soccer. Every decision I made was with that goal in mind. Every step was taken with great effort. Condemnation was a gift.
Chris Borland made 108 tackles for the 49ers as a rookie in 2014. (Theron W. Henderson/Getty Images)
In football, I know exactly what I want, what I have to do to get it and how to do it. Life as an athlete is not easy, but it is easy. High jobs.
By the time I left the NFL at age 24, this approach had become a core part of who I was. It naturally moved beyond football to life.
After I retired I went into mental health care. I was also determined to build a career outside of football. And there were a lot of things I missed while playing that I was excited to see.
Those efforts were wide open in themselves. Together they formed a vast expanse. I was still a “one goal person”. A high. And I tried to do everything.
The results are mixed. I’ve had some big hits, a few embarrassing failures, and I’ve flirted effectively once or twice. I learned a very hard lesson: Condemnation can be a curse.
Over the years, I’ve found more balance.
Today, I am healthy, surrounded by great family and friends, and enjoy my work. I have a good life, and I am grateful. But I won’t say I’m satisfied.
I was curious about that feeling, and wondered if it was possible to drive and be happy. I wrote a question in my journal: How can I transform my emotions, talents, and relationships into more consistent, lasting, and satisfying impact?
I wanted an answer.
Alan Page’s “The Pursuit of Excellence”
Ellis Devlin
Satisfying
In David Epstein’s book Inside the Box, he argued that productivity and satisfaction come from embracing limitations rather than pursuing unlimited freedom. That was true in my football and retirement experience.
But it was a single lesson from “Inside the Box” that gave me the best answer to my question. It’s a “how-to,” and it’s been a revelation.
It is called “satisfactory”. Satisficing (a portmanteau of satisfying and sufficient) is a decision-making strategy introduced by Nobel laureate Herbert Simon. Uses self-imposed limitations to ensure success.
Here’s how it works:
When making a decision, set what will satisfy (or “enough”) first. Then do the first thing that meets that criteria. And then, importantly, move on.
It’s important to keep going. It’s easy to lose focus by looking for answers that might be slightly better than the first.
Harbaugh probably – the khakis are hearing this. Is it enough for good!? Do less!?
I doubted myself. The idea of not conforming to get the best results was against the odds. But Simon’s logic (and credibility) was hard to argue with.
Simon pioneered the concept of bounded rationality. It basically means that our life is full of choices and we have limited time, information and attention to make decisions.
He emphasized that humans are not decision-making machines. We cannot take all the available information and analyze it and spit out the right choice.
He paints a more accurate picture: the environment shapes decisions in “problem areas.” Problem areas are metaphorical regions that our mind must go to in order to get from problem to solution.
Consider making dinner plans with a friend or partner. are you hungry What mood are you in? What do we have at home? Should we order something? These are simply trouble spots in the dinner planning area.
Certain areas, such as football, present mostly simple problem areas. Want to get stronger? weight lifting. Looking for a strategic advantage? Study film. The mind doesn’t have to do much exploring to arrive at a solution.
But in other areas, such as career transitions, complex problem areas are everywhere. Which field should I enter? Should I move? Travel around the world? The mind has so much to explore.
Ideally, our decision-making approach will match the environment and the problem areas.
That’s where Maximizer gets themselves into trouble. Football has rewarded everything. The same approach in different areas has resulted in burnout.
In my mid-twenties, I enthusiastically ventured into complex problem areas. Of course I had some wins. But even then, satisfaction was elusive.
Losses can feel like a personal failure. Maybe I should have done more? Do more? This can be a stressful cycle. I focused more on exploring problem areas than was necessary. Often, I would become indecisive or overwhelmed. In both cases I regretted it.
“I was doing what I could. I just didn’t know a better way.
Complex problem areas do not reward effort. They ask for an appropriate approach. This is where satisfaction comes in handy.
I was very strict with diet and exercise. I tried to hit goal weights and certain body fat percentages. It was a habit left over from football.
At some point, I would fall off the wagon. Then I start again with another level of authority. This process repeats itself over the years. Even when I reached my goals, I didn’t feel satisfied. Because health is full of complexity.
Now, I don’t want a scale. My health standards are more reasonable. To have good consistent energy, I want to exercise every day and play the sports I love regularly. I usually meet these criteria. And I’ve found that I’m the healthiest I’ve ever been (and enjoying the process).
In the year In 2015 I started a work project with many moving parts. I felt that I had to know different subjects in a short period of time. I had good intentions, but that was an impossible task. I just stress myself out trying. The project was successful, but it caused a lot of losses.
Today I am working with the same company. The project is similarly multifaceted. But my approach is different.
My work standards are clear. I accept my limitations and prioritize my responsibilities. The collaboration has been incredibly creative so far. I’m busy, but I’m more excited than busy. And I find I’m as productive as ever.
To me, contentment is not about lowering standards. It’s a stop sign when it comes to diminishing returns. That upgrade is a big adjustment for a former football player.
I can still fall back into old patterns, but satisfaction is the best approach I’ve found to balance drive and satisfaction.
Simon frames attention as our rarest resource. Satisfier was his strategy to get the best out of it. From this point of view, the only real way to be complacent is to maximize.
Sometimes, less really can be more.
The Life of the Game series, on the other hand, is part of its partnership with Prudential. The athletics It maintains full editorial freedom. Partners have no control or input into the reporting or editing process and do not review stories before publication.